Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Book Review #57: Freedom from the I

Name: Freedom from the I
Author: Shashank Kasliwal
No. of Pages: 218

Genre: Non-Fiction
Publisher: Jaico Publishing House
Price: Rs. 299/-
Published in: 2018

How did I get it?
From the publisher.

THE BLURB SAYS:
Ultimate Path to a Free Mind and Real Success

A man is made of his thoughts. And the origin of most thoughts is from the ego, one’s sense of personal identity. The feelings of adequacy and inadequacy, importance and insignificance, love or hatred – all these first takes shape within the mind.

Corporate trainer and coach Shashank Kasliwal’s Freedom from the I talks about how one’s ego is responsible for all the suffering one goes through. Quoting his own life as an example, Kasliwal discusses how to develop the ability to stay unaffected despite the circumstances. The author provides profound insights into how to stay free of negative energy and achieve a calm state of mind because a quite mind boosts productivity, camaraderie and creativity. Learn to look beyond the societal norms and achieve your true potential!

“This book will help people live without psychological trauma.”
– SALIM KHAN, Actor & Script Writer

“…will be a guiding star to the readers...”
– DR. NARESH AGGARWAL, International President, Lions Club, USA

“Sensitive. Substantial. Sparkling.” – BHAWANA SOMAAYA, Journalist & Film Expert
“Profound and thoughtful.” – KABIR BEDI, Actor

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Shashank Kasliwal runs his own training company, Emotional Intelligence Inc., and helps people to look within and end self-created suffering. His father was the founder-director of the illustrious S Kumar’s Group. Kasliwal’s prestigious clientele include Honda Motors, Sun Pharma, Hero MotoCorp Ltd., Maruti Suzuki, HDFC Bank, Airtel, Hindustan Petroleum Corporation Limited, Ernst & Young, etc.

For workshops and corporate training, write to kasliwalshashank@yahoo.com or visit www.forceswithin.com. Follow the author on Twitter @Shashank1973

MY THOUGHTS:
This is a book with which all of us should be able to connect. It elaborates how most of our psychological sufferings have roots in our ego, our sense of personal identity. It talks, with examples, how our thoughts and desires shape our mind, words and actions; how negative thoughts impact our well-being and manifest in our bodies in the form of ailments and diseases. It discusses how ego is created and how it can eradicated by liberating ourselves from its root causes first.

Some takeaways and points to ponder upon from the book are as follows:
  • Ego is nothing but feeling more important, different and superior to others.
  • The ego looks for what is in your mind, what you believe in. It binds us and makes us slaves.
  • Consciousness is the real you. It is a person's awareness towards his ego's activities and the functioning of his own mind.
  • Consciousness is the one who observes everything when it is not attached to the ego.
  • If you get disturbed when your expectation is not fulfilled or your opinion is not taken seriously, you are attached to your expectation/opinion.
  • Fear is a by-product of your attachment to a thing or even an idea.
  • You are totally absent to what is there because the ego is only conscious of what it wants.
  • Ego wants importance and instead of letting you be a part of other people's worlds, it keeps you stuck in your own world, disconnecting you from others completely.
  • People who are searching for happiness through name and fame from the world outside are bound to suffer because they are look at material things, demanding favourable conditions matching the rules and list of wants that they have written in their minds.
  • Past upsets affect the present.
  • Everything that you are against weakens you. Everything you are for empowers you.
  • Our naturalness is almost lost as people are more interested in showing us how happy they are by posting pictures in Facebook than in actually being happy.
The only example quoted by the author which seemed to be in somewhat poor taste to me was the example of killing animals for food (if I understood correctly) in the following passage.


The contents of book tend to repetitive at times, but it is not offending. Overall, it is a book that makes you look at your own thoughts and behaviour. It talks of things and facts we already know but are not aware of. I already have a mental list of people, whom I want to gift this book to.

I give "Freedom from the I" 4 stars on a scale of 5.


Short Story#3: Can't Have It All



"Mother, Isha's parents are checking out prospective grooms for her. She told them about us and now they want to meet my parents", Abhay said. Mother retorted, "But you are not ready for marriage yet! You are still studying and yet to make a career". "Isha told them that! But they still want to meet you and Father. They are willing to wait for a few years, given the assurance that their daughter is engaged to me" Abhay replied. Mother calmed down a bit and replied, "Let me talk to your father". "Love you Mother!" Abhay chirped excitedly.

She was listening to the conversation from her room, between Mother and Abhay, the older of her two younger brothers. Abhay was in the second year of his graduation and Vijay, the youngest of siblings, is studying in the twelfth standard. She had just completed her graduation and still contemplating what to do next. Her elder brother, Rohit, is working in a MNC and stays in another city with his wife. Father is a government servant and Mother is a homemaker.

She had always been the pampered child. Being the only sister and daughter, she had everybody's attention. Sometimes, a way too much she felt. But being pampered had its perks! She would get new dresses every month while brothers got them only on the major festivals. Unlike her brothers, she just had to name it, and she would get it. She even got more pocket-money than her brothers. She could sprawl on her bed anytime and for any long she desired. She wasn't expected to help her Mother with household chores until specifically asked to. She had the power to get her brothers spanked and punished by her parents at will. But a slight scold in her direction would trigger her tear glands instantly and ferociously. And then someone or the other will always be ready to wipe her tears. Oh! How are brothers envied her. But her parents exclaimed, "Let her relax and be pampered for now. After all, she will have take up responsibilities once she is married. Let her be till she is still in her father's home."

She is not expected to make a career after completing her studies. The only motive of getting her educated was to ensure that she could make a living in case her married life goes wary in the future. You never know what life throws at you, right! But of course, her family will choose her future husband.

She had known Vikram since childhood. His father and her father were colleagues, not though on best of terms. They went to the same school and often met outside school in family gatherings. They had become good friends over the years, even though Vikram was a year senior to her. As they emerged into young adults, they realized that both were harbouring romantic feelings for each other. Once they professed their love for each other, they felt like the happiest people on earth. Late night phone calls and secret rendezvous followed. Vikram was determined make a stable career so that they could get their parents' approval and show her parents that he was worthy of her. After a couple of years, it was time for Vikram to move to another city to pursue higher studies in a elite university. Thanks to technology, they could keep their long-distance relationship going and they felt their love growing day by day.

Then, on a fateful day, Rohit chanced upon her chats and photographs with Vikram on her cell-phone. He was furious. Mother and Father were told. Mother became hysterical and Father simply turned silent on her.​ The two people, who loved her like anything, were devastated. It was their honour, their reputation in the family and social circles which were on the line, they said. She was lectured, was kept an eye upon at all times, looked at suspiciously when she got a little late in reaching home from college. Her friends were spoken to and advised not to encourage her in this relationship. Vikram was called and asked to keep away. It felt as if doom had descended on their lively home. "This is what she repays us with, after all the love we showered on her!" they exclaimed sadly.

Three years had passed since her family had found out about her and Vikram. She had broken all ties with Vikram since then. She had explained to him that she won't be able to bear the burden of guilt of hurting her family, that he has to let her go. With time, normalcy resumed in her family. She was back to being the pampered daughter. She had earned back her parents' affection with her sacrifice of love.

Two years back Rohit got married. A love marriage, that too an inter-caste. They had dated for five years before tying the knot. Abhay have been seeing Isha for four years now. Even little Vijay had a girlfriend. Mother had always known about her brothers' girlfriends. Sometimes, she even sends gifts for them! Even Father had an inkling about them and is amused secretly. Guys having girlfriends is the sign of growing up after all. "Oh really?" she thought bitterly. And as if she was responsible for shouldering the family's honour alone. "And what about the family honour of those girlfriends? Or did they become honourable by the virtue of being dated by their sons?" she questioned herself. She felt so bitter at times. But she has also resigned to the fact that her husband will be chosen by her parents. Even if she still misses Vikram, she knows she doesn't have the strength to face the hostility of her family, particularly of that of Mother and Father. In her lonely moments she imagines that Vikram rages back into her life, to fight for his love. And that her parents relent. But that is only her wishful thinking, isn't it?

For the moment, she is busy fulfilling her own superficial desires. Shopping has become her new hobby. Evenings are mostly spent on phone-calls with her BFFs and most weekends with them again having lunches, window-shopping and going for movies. Of course, she has to be home by sun down.  Mother and Father are letting her be again. In her mind, they are compensating for her love loss with material love and a little freedom. And she is indulging herself and having fun before she is married off to a stranger. She understands that being born a girl in a society like ours, she can't have it all. She can only make the most of whatever she gets.

First published on Women's Web on February 02, 2018.

Tuesday, January 23, 2018

Book Review #56: House of Discord

Name: House of Discord
Author: Sadiqa Peerbhoy
No. of Pages:298
Genre: Fiction
Publisher: Readomania
Price: Rs. 295/-
Published in: 2017

How did I get it?From the author.

THE BLURB SAYS:
A discordant family in a hate-driven city…will they find the ties that bind?

A tough matriarch; an effete father who escapes reality; a rebellious son who marries a Muslim girl; a depressed spinster daughter; a resident ghost and the discovery of some strange family secrets…

The Deshmukhs of Barrot House are barely surviving in a rambling house in the middle of Bombay when violence knocks on the door.

The post-Babri Masjid Bombay of 1992 is a city wallowing in hate. The Deshmukhs find themselves in the vortex of the raging storm.

Will the famed Spirit of Bombay eventually rediscover the healing magic of communal tolerance? Will the family rediscover the love that will help them survive? Sadiqa Peerbhoy spins a multilayered family saga—a metaphor for the city she grew up in.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Sadiqa Peerbhoy was born in Hyderabad, grew up in Mumbai and lives in Bangalore. She has been an advertising professional all her working life and is the creative force behind many Indian and international brands.She started writing a humorous topical column in the local papers to keep her sanity in a deadline-ridden career and wrote it for thirty years, collecting a huge fan following in Bangalore. She has also scripted serials for television, scripts for BBC, short stories for the weekend papers, has four published books and many creativity.

She ran a British college, Wigan & Leigh, in Bangalore and has taught advertising, branding building, life skills and lateral thinking in corporates and colleges. Sadiqa is married to advertising legend Bunty Peerbhoy, is the mother of two and remains an ardent student of Hindustani music.

MY THOUGHTS:
The plot and storyline of "House of Discord" has all the ingredients of a Bollywood blockbuster. A myriad of characters in a single family, a resident ghost, inter-faith romance, a quirky servant, a wild riot, political goons, skeletons in the cupboard and ancestral property.

Loki runs the household of Barrot House. Despite dwindling funds, she tries to maintain the grandeur of the Desmukh household. Her husband, Vikram, is more comfortable in his room among his books and radio rather than manage the technicalities of a mundane family life. Vikram's sister, Pammi is a spinster, still reeling under spurned love. Loki shares a bittersweet relationship with her first-born, Rajan. Her other children, Sarita, Lily, Ricky and Vijoo, more or less fall in line. The resident ghost of Nimma Aunty adds another dimension of flavour to this story. Nimma was Vikram's sister, who died young. Things start rolling when Salma, Rajan's love, enters Barrot house.

The book is well-written and is a well-paced entertainer. It has integrated regular human emotions in a most interesting way in this well-conceptualized plot. The characters are well cut-out and weaved in beautifully. The riots across the country and Bombay post the Babri Masjid demolition in 1992 is taken as a backdrop.

In short, it is a good entertaining read.

I give "House of Discord" 5 stars on a scale of 5.